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Every time I get close to someone
I get a sudden flashback
When I was rubbed the wrong way
Touched the wrong way
A cold firm grip embracing my neck
Restricting my airflow
Was it forbidden for me to live?
Forbidden for me to be handled with care?
I'm extremely fragile
Recurring breakdowns
Ghosts of my past haunting me
Hurting me
Preventing me to ever love again
Is it forbidden for me to love?
Forbidden for me to ever discover true happiness
Consumed with visions
Of closed fists and closed eyes
Blood sweat and tears
Screaming please
Please stop hitting me
Hurting me
Abusing me
Destroying my spirit as a human being
Am I forbidden to feel secure?
Forbidden to find refuge in someone's arms
Remembering the arms that swung on me
The same arms used to shove me
The same arms used to confine me in a headlock
Reaching out to harm me instead of hugging me
Broken promises to never do it again
I cringe and squirm when someone says I love you
Those words lack meaning now
Until someone changes my mind
Knowing deep in my heart that someone is me
It is not forbidden
