27900
I missed my daddy for so long, when i seen him again i was at my Grandmas home this time that was related on his side and she was his mother. She helped raised me to my pre teen years. Every time i seen my daddy it was for a brief while before he left out on the road, I was about 10years old in elementary school, so i couldnt always go out on the road with my daddy until the summer time which was the best times cause i spent my summer traveling. We didnt stop in every city but we went through numerous cities for days.
traveling endlessly from each destination, what matter most was our conversations and our bond creating mental stimulation. Teenage years came fast and i started jr. high than high school and lived with my aunt and younger cousins. Naturally my curiousity grew as puberty came, young girls were getting pregnant n wildin out. I would talk to a few kids but mostly was a loner. I wasnt popular or a school whore. I wasnt a cheer leader or part of the dance team either. All i did was make good greades and draw everything i could dream. Not a nerd but eventually i grew out of the tomboy phase and boys became interesting in a weird way. hadnt talked to my mom in years and never kept in touch much but soon found out my letters sent from my sisters were being held in my grandms room, pictures and "I love you's which had me upset and confused. I was out of my habitat, I was somewhere different from before and now I couldnt see my mother, sister and or brothers anymore. Never really learned all the stories of my past but this young innocent girl grew up really fast. All I wanted was to wake up and live with my dad and I'm still waiting on daddy to come home from the road, from elementary to middle school he even missed my Jr. high prom. Unlike other girls I didn't know what it felt like to have a young man ask my dad for permission to take me out under only one condition. I didn't get to see my daddy at my school ceremonies or when I graduated from Life Skills back in January 2010, only mentors from the women's home I lived in attended as well as my godmother. All of this loneliness that followed me through all of my accomplishments and down falls, who could I call when I was told and believed it all was my fault. My fault? My fault that I never got a chance to have a family with both my mom and daddy? My fault that daddy's life was consumed with his trucking career and no matter how much I wanted my daddy at my side he wasn't there? My fault that he let his wife come between us and what we had , all of my life I been chasing my dad. I thought once I made good grades and graduated out of school daddy would be there to appreciate and congratulate me but I stood there alone at graduation feeling liked a fool. My Godmom was there but she was growing tired , I wasn't her responsibility anymore and all I could do was cry and wonder why. then I became a mom lost and living with this cold heart. I was never given a chance at having a family, not even from the start but I gotta step aside and forget all about my pain and emptiness cus I have a child to raise who knows nothing but innocence. all I wanted was my daddy to come home, and we live in the same city and still feels like I'm miles from home, from him and everything I ever wanted. Now I have to raise my child in hopes she doesn't grow up to feel unwanted.
