4600
A Moistening of Text
I’m up once again at an ungodly hour with thoughts of you depriving me of much needed sleep. I sit up at my desk, pen in hand trying in vain to put something, anything to paper to express how I am feeling at this precise moment, but nothing comes to mind. Listening to Morrissey lament over lost love isn’t helping matters. I’ve come to the conclusion that I can no longer handle this longing for you, this need to have you close to me, filling a void created oh so many years past…
Can you hear my heart screaming out in the night? Can’t you feel my love for you on the eve of yet another day without you? The question of you remains emblazoned on my mind despite my efforts to ignore it. You are so far away from me. A weaker man may have crumbled under such circumstances but I persevere, in hopes that all my efforts will be rewarded with you, Dearheart.
I pray for you daily, hoping that God’s good graces wash over you and keep you safe from harm, protected. I pray that hunger never falls upon you; that you stay nourished and healthy. I pray for your safe passage as you navigate through this life alone such as I do. Lastly, I pray to Him to deliver you to me so I can assist in your safekeeping.
A sudden rain falls in the dead of night, tapping against my windows, mirroring the tears that currently streak down my cheeks, dripping on the paper beneath me and it is within this moment, my letter is complete.
My tears will portray my feelings for you, splattered on their white-lined canvas, saying more words than I ever could. Although I cannot see clearly through these lonesome tears, this night has opened my eyes to my wanting of you.
I may never sleep again…
