A letter to Franchon

CATEGORY

life

My life been crazy, mostly only I know. The only other person that knew the full scope decided she didn't wanna be here no more.So thanks a lot hoe, now it's just me in this mess. I pray for you everyday, but God knows what's best. So let me give you the run down since you been MIA!  Hold up, my manager coming, you know I still ball and parlay.I figured I'd take up this writing thing since I'm in my head all day. Hell, at least I can write it all down, maybe the thoughts will escape me that way. Girl I done dealt with it all, from fake females to s that say they mean me well... All lies, I should have known it from the you was in, that still outchea wylin, guess he tryna lose again. Jesus Christ I can't even finish my thoughts, my manager just stepped back in... you know how that goes, "Oh I just wanted to talk to you for a second, about the work you've been putting in... I appreciate all your help, but higher management said your job is about to end." Little do they know, I stay on the job hunt, so that really means nothing to me. I still have another job, guess I'll be putting in that OT. I read Ecclesiastes yesterday, and all it talked about was how meaningless life is, so enjoy what you have because nothing lasts to the end. Hard work comes easy for me, hell someone has to do it, The Bible says you only reap the benefits if you go through it. I know God knows how humble I am, so I'm trying to figure out why the struggle so real. Why me in some BS, playing the single mother role, working two jobs, online school just to gain better control. DAMN IT, IM OVER IT! It's like every time I lose, I'm tryna live righteous, but after reading Proverbs I feel like a fool. Maybe that's why this constantly plays me, telling me lies in the midst of great conversation. But I'm up on game , I GOT THE ***ING JUICE. If I continue to pray, fast and believe, I can never lose. He got me til the end, and even after that. I'll let you play the dummy, I'm through with all this , because if it's one thing I've learned , I can take constant hits. I didn't chose this life, this life chose me. I was built for it, that's why mf's cant see.... can't see where I'm headed, can't understand why I'm still standing, can't figure out how I do it... if they ask, I'll tell them. It's my God in heaven that gives me the power, that defeats all opposition, still giving me the knowledge. Yea He puts me through tests, but that's how you get ahead. He can't bless you if you're stuck in sorrow, unwilling to get out the bed. So I'll sit here at work and blast dipset til Jan 7, I've been saying I need a new job, I guess The Man was listening. I'll put the work in, and continue to do me, can't have a testimony without a test, so give it to me. I'll come out victorious, for all to see, and give God the Glory... that's how it should be. Franchon, I gotta go, guess I'll do some work, but the way my job is set up, it comes with perks...