Emotionally Detached

CATEGORY

life

I'm so caught up in my anger. 
I don't know how to smile anymore. 
I'm detaching from the world. 
My heart I closed off. 
Not daring to get emotionally attach. 
I DON'T TRUST ANYONE. 
So I'm left alone. 
Holding my feelings inside. 
My true feelings no one will know. 
The true me, I refuse to exposes. 
Because at the end of the day, she is left feeling hurt. 
My heart has been ripped out my chest, 
balled up like paper,
and tossed into the trash. 
Treated like garbage. 
And people wonder why I'm so distance. 
No one truly care about my feelings. 
I constantly gave and all they did was take. 
Taking on everyone else pain because my love was just that real. 
But the ones I loved most, 
disappointed me, hurt me, left me, or dead. 
What do you expect me to do when my life has been filled of neglect? 
I don't get too attached, out of fear. 
I'm scared! 
It's just me, my thoughts, my paper, and pen. 
I guard my heart like a lion guarding it's cub. 
So I pop off when I feel the need to. 
I get tired of being mistreated and misused.
I go on the defense and attack. 
Why should I have to turn the other cheek? 
Why should it be me, always the bigger person? 
Why is it me, God has chosen to live this life? 
Why is it me, God gave the strength to hold my head high? 
My pain has became a part of my identity. 
These tears enhance my beauty. 
My eyes sees everyone as my enemy, so I wear my armor faithfully.
Always prepared to be abused mentally. 
Putting a bandage over my injuries and keep it moving. 
You're never catch me being weak. 
Not to the outside world. 
Fooling everyone, I can put on a good act. 
Deep down inside, I'm living in misery. 
My happiness was stolen from me. 
Robbed of my sanity. 
I'm to the point, I don't care to find my way back to me, or God, 
or anyone, or anything.
Wanting it to be silent.
Tuning out the thoughts in my head.
I just want to crawl into a grave and disintegrate my emotions. 
I want to be emotionless,
NOT FEELING THIS PAIN.