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It’s hard to think of words that are life
In the midst of my strife
Cause I’ve been repeatedly cut and stabbed
By the double bladed knife of "this life"!
Let alone the daggers of circumstances
That which have befallen me
I feel like I've been abandoned
And He undoubtedly let go of me
I used to think I was a part of the ‘life book’ of the lamb
But how could someone so weak
Be a part of ‘His land’?
How could such negativity happen for 4 years straight
If I was being held†in the center of His divine hand?
It’s truly something uncontrollably misunderstood by me
I just do not fathom, nor do I come close in being able to understand!
I used to feel I was blessed with the power of words to convey
But I’m in so much emotional and spiritual pain
That I just don’t have any positivity left in me to say
I am only writing to possibly help myself
With all of my fear, anger and dismay
I truly feel like Satan has taken his time
To destroy and direct my life like a play
But for me There was no rehearsal
And so for my recent words placed here in PV
There is no take back or reversal
I am sorry for anyone and everyone
Who saw me at my point that was the lowest
I’m hoping more people read my positive works
And the last two negative ones
Hopefully, were never really even noticed.
I never felt the pain and shame
That which I felt two days ago
It enraged and placed me in a cage
That I wrote some negative flows
I am now so sorry I did so
For that shows that no more pain I can take
I just pray God can forgive me
And He doesn’t set aside my soul and forsake
I believe He forgives
But I feel so guilty for the words that I wrote
That I feel aspiring to death
To then have my own self smote!
But I know the devil is trying
To reside inside of my heart
I just hope in my weak faith
That God gives me a clean start.
SkTzO
