Beautiful Disaster

"Beautiful Disaster" She was scarred, Broken down and abused. She felt her worth was none, Men taking advantage and her feeling used. She had endured it for so long, At age five it started. From that day forward, Her heart she guarded. A beautiful disaster, This is what she had become. She drowned the pain in a rig, Only then was she comfortably numb. The world seen her as trash, They said she was just a whore. Her soul was murdered at five, When grandpa snuck in while she slept on the floor. A few years later, Trusted cousin made her cry. She'll never forget how it started, Him running his hand up her thigh. For years, She was his toy. Everyday another piece of her died, Her perception of life he helped destroy. He brought in two step brothers "Let's play house!". They all took turns, She lay there quiet as a mouse. Her sister got married, She was twelve years old. Damaged little girl woke up scared, "Have a bad dream", standing over her, he told. She had finally trusted a man, She thought he was different then the rest. That all changed though, When against her private area, his hand pressed. She was so damaged, No longer wanting to feel. Meth eased the pain, For her fix, she would lie, cheat and steal. Smoking crack cocaine, It was the ultimate numb. She ended up at a crack dealers house, God, how could she be so dumb?!? She should have known better, But she trusted her friends. While they smoke crack in another room, Young woman's body he offends. Pistol whipping her face, Violently raping her all night. She knew he was going to kill her, Scarred woman seen no end in sight. She finally escaped, She ran for hours. Still feeling as though he was raping her, Weeping; her body he devours. Still a beautiful disaster, She's married now, you see. But he's no different than the rest, For her life, he makes her plea. He rapes her when he's mad, He beats her just for fun. She just wants to die, Inside her mouth, she holds a gun. Now you see, She may have been a whore. Men made her heart hard, But now she realizes she's worth so much more. She may be damaged, And she may have been a junkie. But as ugly and ashamed as she's been, She finally knows her beauty. Beautiful disaster, No longer a disaster at all. Through Gods Grace, He's picked her up from her fall. She has a ways to go, But she's came a long way. Self loathing ending, No longer making herself pay. The past no longer running her life Her trust in God, for He has the final say. Before you judge her, Remember her past. You've got one too, So stones you need not cast. ©Stacy Roach