Bell of the Ball

I am scared to love again, walking through a tunnel, 
and I can't see the light. 
It's a constant battle and I'm struggling with the fight. 
Rawness is rare, but it's all that I had. 
Love to share, and honesty in the bag. 
My faith has slowly faded away, out of my mind. 
Feeling crazy and sedated, with no hope left for me to find. 
Fool me once, shame on you, and if it was for you, 
forgiving was an easy thing to do. 
Fool me twice shame on me. 
There is  something to be said when 
forgiving yourself doesn't come easy. 
But what's to be said for playing a fool the third time? 
A moment of insanity lasting a lifetime. 
I felt so sure before, I had it all. 
A queen in the making, I was the bell of the ball. 
The bell of the moon and the bell of the church. 
But I fell so hard, and now all that's left is the hurt. 
I am trying to restore myself, and it's a hurting thing to do.
Trying to fix myself, something that was broken by you. 
I am free falling into a pit of despair. 
How did I get here? Who said love was fair? 
It's a scary place to be when you're all alone. 
No one to speak to, and you're so far gone. 
"Out of sight, out of mind." But, how can that be true? 
You're out of sight but my mind continues to run back to  you. 
Now I understand why people try drink away their sorrows. 
They drink in hopes of a better tomorrow. 
Or perhaps a better right now. A better today. 
Anything that helps the pain go away.