I'm rich snitch!

I watch you like CBS,

A person of interest,

I must confess,

Like Steven Colbert,

I'm better than Letterman,

On location like a weather van,

In snow storms - I ruin plans,

And make you wait like the TSA,

Surrender your metal and shoes immediately,

Make you throw away your water, then sell it back to you at the gate greedily, 

You look at me with envy and anger,

Like we're all just jerks sitting in First Class - danger,

We both on the same plane,

Just because I arrive first, I'm not ashamed,

I have, you don't, I'll thrive, you won't, I'll survive, you'll croak, 

I'm rich, you're broke!