Apparently You're Confused

I watch his lips move but I'm totally tuned out. His topic of oration holds no sway in my conscious mind until I hear the “Go” word...sex. “Well have mercy y’all, this is where I actively step into the convo!!!”

  “Let us practice some realism, shall we? Everybody loves sex and if they say they don't they are either lying or are paralyzed from the or vagina on down!!!

But for me sex is an escapade that I live to frolic within!!! Not to mention, I'm damn good at it!!!” He's got all the right words which promise to do this and that, up and down and all around my body. His verbal recitation whets my sexual appetite enough to cause me to run to a flat surface with the speed of Carl Lewis, dragging this poor soul right behind me.

Any favorable opportunity to flex the strength of my Kegel muscles is an opportunity to enslave yet another unsuspecting XY. I do it for chins and grins. Don't XYs do the same thing to poor, inexperienced and trusting women every day. I just figure I'm bestowing retribution for one of my fallen and misused Sisters. We girls MUST stick together.

The deed is about to be done when I behold his package. Hold on and wait a minute. It is so miniscule that my mouth falls open and out of it tumbles, “Apparently, you're confused. I don't do charity work!!!”