Upbringing

 

Raised to respect

Lack thereof, 

Resorted in chaos.

Fists flaring from a parent

Mothers less caring, 

Than perceived

From the womb

To the world

Taught without ease.

There were never excuses 

For the abuse 

Given.

I was told to forgive him

Why?

Just a young girl

Forced to fall asleep 

After being beat.

That feeling of defeat brought deceit

It'd be too difficult 

For one to comprehend

What reckless temperaments 

Filled my head

Too many days filled with dread

Wondering what would happen next

 

There was nothing I could take back for all The grief I faced in the past

At the hands of my own dad

As time went on 

Wedges were put in place

To replace conversation

I grew a hesitation 

To love such a misshapen relation

Who could blame me?

My house was not a home at the time

I had no voice-

All that he did

Was a result of his hatred-

He had no remorse in his heart

 

It'd be weak of me to sit and weep

For the past

That's not why I speak of it

Believe this-

There relies no weakness in these teaches

 

For family I make no exceptions

Now I use my words as weapons

 

As for you,

There's no justifying why 

You did what you did

Playing the part in public

But behind closed doors

Abusing 3 kids!

 

I reflect now on all the anger I allowed to Build up

Knowing that you gave me no reasons to Love

I could have chosen to be just as insensitive To my needs

But I grew from that pattern

and proved that I could be an individual!

Regardless of my upbringing-

 

These days, 

Forgetting what happened

Becomes a trend-

 

While you did attend 

Every childhood event

It never meant

That it gave u the right;-

to wake us up

in the middle of the night,

just to lay your hands on 

3 Children;

too young to put up a Fight!

My Heart was never light; 

My Hatred REACHED untouchable heights!

 

Years pass.

Have i moved past;

The times that u

HARRASSED!

my Being ! ?

Call it me :

"Wearing a chip on my shoulder”

But I'm not 

“making a scene.

And

 

 

Now that I'm older,

I'm able to lean!

where I wish

and

so BE it;

If I NEVER hear 

 

the END . . .

 

0F THIS~

 

 

Written by: Desir'ee Chavez

                    & Destiny Chavez