How Could I

CATEGORY

life

How could I ever truly and eloquently express
The very pain and angst, that dwells deep within my chest?
I awaken, shaken, always feeling my heart breaking!
Not knowing if at this point I’ve already been forsaken.

That’s something I’ll forever dwell upon and yet I’ll never know.
Moving forward even though, I don’t know where the path will have me go.
Trying to fight all of the demon inspired forces
That are forcing me into various paths & courses.

Having a baby has only escalated my desire for success.
Yet I admit, that intelligence, ability, skill & wit
Have been forcefully consistently & constantly oppressed.

Where is the Great God that I have been taught about and heard spoken of?
I do not fathom nor do I understand how God shows His divine love?
My soul has been slaughtered repeatedly on a daily basis.
Still idiotically believing the very thing that was deceiving
Still awaiting that God will bless us with a beautiful financial oasis.

People speak about being meek and that I have not the faith they believe God wants me to have.
I of course get offended but then I sit back and begin to laugh.

‘Cause how could they or anyone know the faith or strength that God wants for me to specifically reveal?
Pain shouldn’t be used as an excuse for potential growth or elevation.
‘Cause for most any human all it does is create fear, hate & agitation.

I still believe but I admit that my focus has drifted away.
Because I have a baby girl, and her life I must not let sway

There is not a single person that I know who has succumbed to the torture
That which we have been chosen to endure.
And I hate when people try to offer advise
And say that’s Gods ways of trying to make us pure.

Because that is the worst advice and causes much vexation.
No one seems to truly understand our difficult situation.

So I am told to read the book of Job.
As if he was someone who did not do what he was told.
We do not know of his age, faith or his everyday circumstance
So we could only come to conclusions of how much he was forced to prance

Job is not a good example of what faith in anyone should try to live up to.
And no one should judge me, if the suffering we have has not befallen you.

SkTzO