The Addict and The Saint

Keep looking at your picture in my phone

The one you sent me when you were all alone

Pressing that screen to see that live video

Wishing you'd reach through and grab hold of me again

So fond of you but i don't wanna be your friend

 

We spent too many nights

naked and grindin, you bending me over

your essence on my skin

now i'm strung out like a addict

 told myself you were just a bad habit

i couldn't deny it

once you ripped the needle from my arm it felt like i was dying

You went from bending me over

to saying it's over but i'm under your spell

 

I'll admit you bring out the worst in me

alter ego, that me they don't wanna see

I'm the church girl, the mother, the professional

but you woke up that deviant no one knows

 

I'm not in love

just high off orgasms

and i still don't know what makes me higher

your mouth in my thighs or your mouth on my ear

you challenge my thoughts and my feelings

I just wanna stare at your lips and breath in your intelligence

 

See i know you did the right thing

this was getting too wild, almost frightening

but my alter ego is a control freak

she's not going down without a fight

she wants you, and she'll kill me to get you

so what do I do?

I'm a sex addict and a saint

don't know which me is more real

who's me and who ain't

i love God

i love sex

i love the sanctuary

and XXX

for a long time the other lay dead

then you came

then i came

alter ego resurrected

 

i feel so disconnected

but not defeated

if she wants a fight that's just what she'll get

I'm not ready to die

too many people rely on

the woman i am when i'm not under that man

 

Yea i know it sounds simple but the truth is it hurts

because the addict is still me so fighting her leaves bruises

on my head

on my chest

between my legs so many scars

and i want it to stop

can't we be at peace?

but the battle was never promised an end

it was promised to me if i endured till the end

 

so the fight is daily

the addict and the saint

i still long for your touch but the saint won't give up.