I Am Tootie.

he said tootie love me for me.

he wakes up at the crack of dawn, sitting on the edge of a cliff he's not  sure when he climbed up on

waiting for that moment to fall and just say f*ck it all.

he buttons up the shirt stitched with his name, ready to start the day that he's praying will end already.

talking to Sleaze while on the clock.

thank god he's not being docked for the time spent on the phone with his homie who's about to do some time.

he just cant seem to get in the zone while this one eyed clown is telling him how to move around.

don't disappoint mawmaw, she's telling him to stand tall but he's ready to fall and just say f*ck it all.

 but he has to be the man for his son that his father wasn't for him

his baby mama in his ear screaming " you don't love me" but he's just ready for her to shut the f*ck up so he can speak his piece.

all he wants is peace.

Malboros special blend with a Red Stripe in his hand, spittin lyrical sense thru the mic he just set up his in closet.

his deepest desires and fears hide in there with him.

went from making $700 a day to slavin' everyday just to pay his bills

he used to love his occupation but he knew the only outcome was jail or getting killed.

so he's staggering uphill while helping the next n*gga get on his feet.

he's on one knee trying to get up his self.

he extends his pride while extending his hand out, hoping someone will see him through this but his loved ones stand over him, judging who he is.

but don't love the idea of me.

love me for me.

tootie, just love me for me

he's living up to everyone's expectations but his own.

he's working towards everyone's approval but his own

he's a lion on a leash.

he's wild yet maintaining to be tamed, which are not his wishes.

he desires to be different which he knows is God's calling but somehow everyone in his life is getting God mixed up with anotha brotha

because it when comes to God, everyone is speaking for him

but this man's conversations with God has nothing to do with them.

this is between the man upstairs and him.

he's ready to run up and hold up this place of business so he don't call mawmaw for a loan just for her to be all in his business.

he rather get the money alone.

blow it all at a show that his loved one's wouldn't bother showing up to.

he trips while his shoelaces are tied tight.

while the room is dark, he lies down with a 6pack of Red Stripe by his side as day eases to night, wishin' that tootie would just love him for him.

because he loves her for her.

it's not his fault no one taught him how to be a man. but he does what he can to be the man for her and their son.

he had to find his own way.

his own identity.

his own image. his own dream.

she's knocked up so he's knocking on opportunity's door so opportunity can knock on his son's, when the time comes.

he's on the rise for his son so his son can shine because his son is the sunshine of his life. everything else is dimmed.

and he cries out to his loved ones but really voicing it to the mother of his son

im more than hood n*gga, my mistakes ain't me

I'm a man with a dream, a man with drive,

a man with talent, a man of melanin with motive.

itll be easier to focus if you just love me for me, tootie.

 

and I do. I love you.