Truthful Amusement

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life

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At times I can be an impractical, irrational, radical, general admiral Magnanimously electromagnetically manipulating metaphors actual Passable at times to act out poetic characters, yet never an animal My essence is so realistic that it’s even ethereally tangible Esoterically infallible yet my soul is divided by the fractional Finding value in myself because I make myself of importance and invaluable Never egotistical though my lingo can be mistaken for the intellectually impractical Spewing forth perceived concepts that are philosophically radical Separating my mind, my heart, and soul - As I’ve learned to make all three inseparably detachable Over thirty six years of this human form, I’ve learned to be easily adaptable My mind is tenfold quantum, thus, allowing my soul to be that much more expandable Knowing I come across as lewd crude dude at times, because I am not understandable I live my life for my daughter and my passions, thus anything mediocre is NOT passable Oppressive positivity demeaning my negativism which used to make me emotionally flammable I used to get easily enraged that I’d spew vehement verbiage to the point of aching my mandible Swinging my arms up and down beating my chest until I restructured my own bodily clavicle I’m more abrupt than corrupt, because I prefer to interject rather than interrupt because life is collapsible Emotional MRSA injected and soulful ‘Staph Infection’ detected Spirit began to decay and was rejected as my irrational mind saw plenty in an empty perspective I am not unique but indifferently different, yet highly similar to the incompatibly disrespected I plant seeds knowingly for the unknowing and unwilling readers or listeners that they need contraceptive But I’m too discerning and perceptive to allow them to not get impregnated Even if my indirect directness is disliked or societally hated But my focus is too calculated and methodic My diction is of a Supreme Extraterrestrial Species with a contradictive thesis When I landed in my mothers’ womb, she had to swiftly greet this Disciplined by life and raised by man written philosophical and psychological verses Taught me to perfect human articulation with ‘Word Control’ so nothing could hurt this Took my time in this fleshy vessel and became inclined to be mindful of what ‘he’ verbally disperses Interstellar and intergalactic parentals that were pathetically, synthetically plastic And their human weakness was reveled by signs of heightened temperaments that were quickly fumed & drastic Went to buildings called schools but learned more from observation than from any man made book scholastic I had no childhood or a teenage life, thus I can not say my past was fantastic Abuse of ALL kinds from literal visual, physical sexual to even psychosomatic Instilled in my core being, a highly enigmatic ambiguous man problematic My early developmental that was supposed to be adulthood instrumental Was horribly disfigured, reconfigured, burned out and for about 12 years, pain was detrimental As each day that passed my emotional perception of reality was horribly skewed in incremental Mental bacterial germs reworded my perception of life terms My soul decayed even as I prayed and died as on the floor I was laid and horribly eaten by worms Emotions became solidly numb like mechanical, thus entered the extreme personality impractical radical Everything revealed thus far is not fallacious fantasy but entirely factual I would sit on a stool on a stoop and weep, as for years I bitterly wept Became so amazed at how humans respond to one another, that I rarely ever slept I became a man of many questions, even if a slight answer had into my ear crept I continued to questioned and pretended I was deaf or inept I have recognized my tragic emotional frailty, and some tell me it’s quite natural All I really have going for me, is that my writing expressions are to my own liking masterful But so much of my personality has suffered as ninety five percent of me is damage collateral And so for so long I proactively sought for passive particularities pastoral And I feel my broken sympathetic neurological is most likely irreversible I must continuously build upon and create a better version of me, even upon this shaky structural I’ve witnessed many changes in my psyche, and I ‘likey’, because the change is permanent, well probable And I am careful in my responses re-actual to this visual reality factual Because I must humor my ‘Better Self’, and at post humanly maturely more responsible So I can die with dignity and not just live and die like most others in an alone state tragical But when I add up my past sins, weaknesses, along with my multiple flaws mathematically I sadly quite tragically feel bad for my own self and how I was brought into this world haphazardly Poisoned from day one and yet here I sit, write, recite about my past and even current plight Yet I too question, from where do I continue to get powerful might to go on and fight? Eric Musse © copyright 2012