Illustratingly

CATEGORY

life

Love and hope are both dissipating in me
Cause me, myself, and I
Are constantly deliberately debating with me!
Its highly agitatingly to be infiltrating in me
Fighting and distorting while consistently thwarting
No longer sitting and believing but feeling relieved
That I now can see that I was foolishly deceived!

Once believed that I was special
And for that purpose given specific skills
But my talents and skills
Have only caused aggravation and many hearts it has killed
Not feeling purified or distilled
No longer feeling alive & thrilled
Because my joy has been killed!

Lack of finances causes the utmost of grief.
And God himself came into my financial arena and took my funds as a thief
Allowed the pain to soar and fly for three years
Remaining silent
As I grow internally violent as He just watches my tears.

Watches my tears fall
And ignores my cries and pleas for elevation.
The lack of divine communication has caused me so much spiritual vexation
And emotional disturbed agitation.
I now being a father can not fathom allowing or prolonging the pain of disdain
Upon my child’s heart, spirit or brain
And yet here I remain in the situation that’s profoundly mundane
Because God chooses to ignore and not open up a door
To allow us to flee from the pain
The pain that has caused physical ailments & emotional derailments.

Many inform us that our circumstance is lasting for so long
Because we are going to be blessed so abundantly
I no longer care to be blessed but relieved from the stress
Knowing that daily I awaken afraid & shaken of where we shall soon be in this mess.

God has ignored and we are vexed knowing that we tried
And my faith in him after three years has vanquished & died.
Our spirits have dried
And no longer do we have anymore tears to cry
For we now know that upon some invisible imagination
We shall never again be told to or even feel like we should rely.

For we have past the point of feeling exhausted
And the fact that He hasn’t answered any of our prayers,
Any doubt we may have had - He has only reinforced it.

The path of love & life He has coerced it
I tried to understand and believe but He forced it.
And the truth is now thwarted with bitterness and confusion
For we have yet to gain any strength.
So we will no longer believe in His illusion.

SkTzO