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To my family that I love so dear.
I'm so far but yet so near.
I know my voice and the words I spoke haven't been so clear: but, listen now.
this is a young soldier that fought for years trying to hide the pain only had me going insane.
it wasn't that I didn't love you.
It wasn't that I didn't care.
It wasn't that you were never there.
it was trauma
it was anger
it was fear.
people constantly wondering were is this beautiful girl?
where did she go?
when will she come?
will she ever come home?
constantly lieing and cheating but, the reason for this was I was bleeding.
Inside, not out, wondering if anyone could hear my cry for help.
putting on a mask so that no one could will see the other side.
I cried day after day.
night after night.
LORD!!!!!!!!! when will you turn on the light?
I dance, I sing, I speak, I read
but, nothing could ever stick in my head.
As time moved on I looked around and everyone I had hurt was gone.
no one to lean on.
no one to cry too.
because them, they had scars too.
The scars from bashing my sis with my words like she wasn't hurt enough. or the anger from life and treating my mother with disrespect, no. that wasn't right and running outside learnign how to shoot people with my lies And I never had the courage. no. I never had the strength to honestly admit that I treated people like shhhh.
but, as I say these words from the heart all I ask is for a brand new start.
Free from what I did to others, and what others did to me..
You told me that I was nothing and when I was young those were the words that I did believe.
But, years have gone by and I am 21 yet still young.
I'm never to old to learn,look and see that I have to. I have to love me
the village that it took to raise me you all have succeed. I'm working and going to school I am no longer a fool.
I am a young wise Queen and I am ready to live my dreams.
Thanks family.
I love you.
watch close becasue I have books coming out and i'm going to open up my own school FULL of CREATIVITY. and allowing people to live the dream they have always wanted.
PEOPLE ALWAYS USED RO SAY MAN THIS GIRL NEVER STOPS TALKING AND GUESS WHAT I NEVER WILL. TO MY UNCLE LARRY< MY GOD DAD. MY MENTOR, MY BEST FRIEND. I PROMISED I WOULD MAKE YOU PROUD>
I PROMISED YOU ONE DAY I WOULD STOP SHOWING OUT.
I PROMISED YOU!!!!!!! ONE DAY!!!!!!!!!
AND, EVEN THOUGH YOUR BODY IS GONE YOUR SOUL FOREVER REMAINS IN MY HEART.
IN MY HEART IS WERE YOU ARE.
IN MY HEART IS WHERE YOU'LL BE.
KEEPING ME HOLDING ME KNOWING YOU NEVER LEFT ME.
-QUEEN ARMANDA
