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I have been trying to answer the question of "Is there anything more powerful than love?" I have not been able to find a solid answer because I am in love with love but when the heart is broken Sometimes it can be a wound that cant quite seem to heal and all you can do is watch it slip away with parts of you.
You never really look at anything the same. Even the trust you had for people is broken and you cant seem to form bonds that you previous forned so easily. You were a flower of the world and then all of a sudden you didnt want to be a part of anything. You wanted to shield yourself from everything until you could love again. And each story about love is a personal one, it has layers that is individual to everyone but it always cuts deep because it feels like you are letting someone in.
Then have crossed a line that no one has crossed before and I say no one because every time someone crosses that line, it is always different. And in the end when you have tormented yourself, you always want more. Imagine being able to love and not having anyone to love. Its like being lonely all the time and not connecting to that special soul mate. The one that you were meant to travel the world with.
I have been cascaded and lost in love and all the while not feeling like I was able to measure up to anyone. Can you imagine a world where you cannot accept a person that God has created for you? You are forever stumbling in darkness looking for that special someone and all the while they were right in front of you.
Sometimes you want to cuss and call them every name in the book, especially the ones that you feel have broken you. Because ultimately you are truly broken but what can you do or say that will make things right. You think you have the words and when you use them, there is nothing. Only empty air of words that you could have spoken or words that you have spoken that amounted to nothing. You already when too far and the bond that was once between the two of you is broken.
And there you are, the only option you have is to watch. Its like watching your ghost retreat into its shell and your best option is inactoin. Some choose violence and some want things to be better or know that they can make things better.
Hopefully one day you will be better after you have let all the wounds heal. That requires patience and hopefully you have enough in reserve to make this all possible. If you carry the Divine within you, you may have a chance but ultimately I am saying all of these words to save myself.
I hope that there is still hope for me.
