Summer camp 1983, we just left the pool
Rushing to catch the bus, I grabbed my shorts off of a stool
I pulled the zipper of my cut off shorts much to quick
And managed to fasten up all my kibble and bits!
Unable to release both my family jewels and thing-a-ling
Every stiff legged step caused an excruciating sting!
As the last kid on the bus, my eyes watered, but I held my head up high
For some relief, I pressed my towel firmly against my thigh
I quickly plopped down and somehow managed to free one coin purse
I was only seven, but the pain forced me to yell out a deep curse
When I realized that I sat next to a beautiful girl, I almost forgot all about my pain
She said hi, then asked me my name
As I turned to face her, tears streamed down my face, so she asked me what was wrong
Embarrassed, but desperate, I moved my towel and showed her my dong!
She laughed, and said not to worry, cuz she knew how to fix it
She grabbed her damp bathing suit and then began to twist it
She grabbed some Vaseline from her bag and said you might want to close your eyes
She covered our heads with my towel, and then kissed me by surprise!
A clever distraction
As she quickly unzipped my contraption
Relief and surprise was my combined reaction!
Spider-Man, red and blue was all that remained down there
She said you’re welcome, but next time bring some underwear!




