Paralyzed

CATEGORY

life

Im paralyzed, not in the physical but in my mental, thoughts of improving myself are stopped in my tracks without the ability to move in any form, shape or way, my spirit tells me to perservere but my fear keeps me holdin back like the wheelchair does my back, unable to move, I fall forward tryin to crawl, not realizing my limbs are not strong enough to carry the weight of my doubt and despair, I call out for help, hoping my voice carries through the air and lands on the ears of one who will support me, and eventually it does, on one whose words carry truthful tales of similar times that they have been thru, cause its easier to understand ones pain when stuck in their mindframe are the ER visits of late nights, and plights of flatline sounds and eyes closing on a permanent basis, see normal faces may see this as a normal struggle, but to tussle with the fight of being tired of fighting for your life is something that no one can see, because that is internal, so externally, I smile to cover up the pain endured from this rehabilitation, meditation and mental snapshots of me walking one day become the fuel to power this ride, and I do 140 in a 65, just to push myself beyond my own limits and hope the same ones who support me will pursue me and stop me before I take this ride to far, slowly but surely I feel my strength comin, muscles that were underdeveloped get stronger which each day that passes, the masses cant see my progress, they just continue to look at me as having a good day, and Im cool with that, cause my progress isnt for them to see, it is only for me, and the day where I rise to bring myself out of the chair, my despair will fall of my spine and the backbone that has formed will not be made of bone, it will be made with the pain that I turned into progress through nights of no rest and tears that soaked in the concrete, I will once again stand on my feet, arms raised in triumph, and realizing when my excitement cures, that i am paralyzed no more