Masturbation

Last night I made love to myself
It was a late hour, maybe the twelfth
You see my dear it happened something like this
I... began appreciating my mind and it started with a kiss
I...looked in the mirror and said You're the most amazing mural anyone ever drew
Your... happiness is something I'm not used to
I... remember those times I didn't recognize you, though you're still beautiful
A mask may even have been more suitable
I... missed you and all your laughter
All you're shared thoughts of happily ever after
I... knew then I wanted to be a part of you
Until you began to show signs of untrue
Girl, you began chasing rainbows you called love
Giving all of yourself knowing it still wouldn't be enough
Unaware of the power you possess
Im not just referring to what I found under your dress
I...am talking about your Rhoyal ambition
How life is a but living was your mission
Then all of a sudden you began to cry everyday
Needing no one but begging your cheating mate to stay
Needing no one but begging your beating mate to stay
Needing no one but begging and hearing yourself say...stay?
For what my love? to fill a void?
Love is being confused and annoyed?
Running away from what's already happened
Losing your faith in whats already mapped and....
Needing to be the strong woman I grew up with
Where truth was never overshadowed by the fifth
It feels so good to touch myself and know that its real
There is no pain or lies to conceal
I...divided my legs and began to seduce
Courtney became Phoenix as I admired two fingers, deuce
I kissed any part of me that ever hurt
Reached in as far as I could insert
It was such an emotional experience with nobody in the room but me
I needed me more than anyone could ever see
Made up for time well wasted
The sweetest thing I've ever known or tasted
I moaned out loud and could care less who heard
I realized why I am such a mythical bird
I closed my eyes and bit my bottom lip
Couldn't take myself as I re-enacted a porno clip
I found myself and unsilenced my voice
Orgasmed as if I had no choice
When all was said and done I stood in front of the mirror
I smiled for the first time and saw ME clearer
It was more than sexual stimulation
It was understanding the purpose of my creation
It was more than the usual it was my imagination
It was making love to ME, it was more than MASTURBATION....
~Phoenix~