Commitment

I am quite sure I know
exactly
what you are looking for
 
closely studying the billboard signs 
erected along the highways of your life
reading between the lines
rolling down the window on the drivers' side
slowing my pace
taking a good look at your face
as you speak in parables over dinner
neither of us saints
neither of us a hardcore sinners 
destined to be rescued at the last minute
all of this is a test
sometimes
the key is just to be in it until the end
and the parables you speak aloud are quite unique
in that all of us are different
but travel in the same boat
in the same water we float until the tide pulls us to shore
so
I know
exactly
what you are looking for
 
I can only tell you this
I am content in holding your hand 
if you're not ready for a kiss
I am content to be on your sofa 
watching old movies on TV
and the smell of popcorn in the air 
is quite alright with me
if we just happen to stare up at the ceiling 
with no words spoken
I am quite content
lamenting not that it is not in your bed we lay
but simply on your couch 
laughing simple hours away
as I explode in secret ecstasy
while you are curled up next to me
sharing a spoon of butter pecan ice cream
and my soul 
will scream with thunderous joy
and you will not hear a word
not know the bliss I feel at that moment
making love to you on the couch
without a touch
without a kiss
and while scanning the channels 
for the latest sports score
I'm thinking
I know
exactly
what you are looking for
 
the questions you ask and the look you give
each 
noun
verb 
adjective 
never wasted in conversation
your eyes know the truth 
before the tongue responds
a connection bonds you and I already
although I am careful not to open your 
Pandora's box
a crooked path littered with keys
and locks 
opened and unopened in previous years
your eyes smile at me
but still reveal the tears of 
a long journey in the desert sun
beginning with two
ending with one
and I know the journey as well
listening to the tales you tell in abstract form 
with attentive ears and heart
I listen and decipher your code quite easily
tales of chivalrous days and romantic nights
disappearing
as the lights were turned out while you were awake
careful now not to make the same mistake
falling into the same pit as once before
don't bother to elaborate
I know exactly
what you are looking for
 
shall I say the word or 
should it remain unsaid?
not found in the aftermath of 
wrinkled sheets on the bed
no
that is not our immediate desire
a fire as easily quenched 
as it was easily ignited
we are quite delighted 
in what lies up the road
enjoying each and every episode
I search for the same thing you are searching for
and we have begun to explore 
the possibilities within ourselves
not ready for the commitment
because it is not yet the time of day
looking forward to the possibilities of tomorrow
stopping to pick flowers along the way
so we lie together on your couch
serene
enjoying old movies on the TV screen

and that is our commitment for this moment
exploding in ecstasy
climaxing 
without a word
kiss 
or a touch
such a thing unheard of
until the one day we can finally
commit to love