tear daze

laying there....on the bed, hands behind my head staring up at the ceiling

not making a sound not moving just staring.

many things run through my mind.

Ignoring the knocks at my closed bedroom door. ignoring my name thats coming outta my mother's mouth.

i don't know why i didn't answer back, i know i open my mouth. but no sound came out.

just waited, don't know what i was waiting for but i just waited laid there in silence.

twilight came, got up off the bed had on skinny jeans a hoodie and sneakers. grabbed my keys and left outta my room.

was real quiet, heard mother calling after me. i turned and looked at her and walked out the house.

somehow i found myself downtown walking around in the rain.

trying to ignore the pain in me. was in a daze, could see the cars driving by.

people running to get out of the rain. hearing nothing but the sounds of my footsteps and tha raindrops hitting the ground

Ended up going to the ball court sat on the bench.

staring off to space saw a clear movie of me playing ball with my brother. faking a right going to the left, shot a j.

gunshots rings both of us on the ground realizing one of of us is moving and yelling.

heard my name being called, it was my mother running to me

saw me crying finally after a year, i finally cried. i cried and cried missing my brother who was taken away too soon