In twenty-one years

In twenty one years I’ve learned many things

Contradictions, lies, truth, criticism, hatred, love, hypocritiscm, self-hurt…

As a young child I didn’t know love

With my biological parents

I was abused, neglected, and left to raise my self

My foster mother was 

Sweet, caring, loving, generous, and genuine

My foster mother adopted me

As the years passed she changed

Critical, intense, disrespectful, hurtful, angry, controlling, overbearing, and ill

My adopted sister in the beginning was

Sweet, innocent, joyful, loving, and caring

As the years passed she changed

Homicidal, bipolar, naive, suicidal, regretful, hopeful but on edge

I’ve changed to

I hide my emotions inside

As a child I was

Sweet, genuine, loving, unsure, protective, alone

Now

I’ve fallen apart

Anxiety ridden, depressed, needy, loving, but still sweet and genuine

I dislike how my soul has weakened