Ascending River Flower

I think of you everyday, but especially today, four sets of hands and feet that belonged to me,6 months of strength built into my body, you were mine and I would have died to protect you and chased the stars to give them to you if you had asked me. My life was gone when yours left, I wanted you so badly, and helplessly I stood by and watched you exit from my body and life forever and if I could I would've given you the air that filed my own lungs. I wanted to hold on to those sets of hands and feet for dear life, I wanted to protect you keep you for myself and be what I was supposed to be for you, your mommy, your safety, your protector, your provider, offering you unconditional love when you felt that the world was at odds with you. I always have fantasies and dreams of what could have been, how the two of you have grown, and you were so beautiful, my heart kissed the clouds when I felt that first kick, and I would die to live all over again to experience the short time that I spent with you, naming you the perfect names, anticipating what type of joy that you can bring into my life. I was in love and When I kissed your face it felt like the last kiss that I would ever give because I wanted to die with you but I survived, and I am here left with memories and fantasies of children that made me grow up so fast and be the woman that I am today, and although I may not have experienced you, I am grateful for the pleasure of carrying two of the most precious children that God could have given Jordan Elijah, & Jasmine Micaiah, my world changed when I knew that I would have you, and I let you flood my heart like two beautiful raging rivers. I will let you go but you will never escape from my heart, and I will always remember the six months that we shared