BELOVED HATRED

let me be myself

let me speak my thoughts openly

and let me openly and totally enter your mind

and hopefully ill find-

that grief that’s holding you back

and give you any type of relief before you have a relapse

STOP! STOP! STOP! HOLD THE *** UP!

what was up there is what i usually write

but forget that it’s time to address some things in my life

is it wrong that i promote happiness, but don’t have it myself?

was i only i only made to be in a depressive state since 2012?

the dull expression on my face has become so common some people can’t tell if i’m happy or not

let me tell you right now that i am not

if you see me smiling during the day.

don’t get it twisted

as soon as i’m by myself that expression fades

DON’T YOU DARE ***ING JUDGE ME!

if you do then it could get ugly

because after all this time being sad and lonely

and having basically no one to hold me

it has turned my heart a little colder by the day

it’s officially safe to say-

that all this bullsh*t has thrown me into a pit of despair

it’s become comfortable, like a second home

i want everything to go back to being precious like gold

and finally have happiness to cherish and call my own

i want to be able to once again be thankful that the light in my window is golden

but happiness is still missing from my life until further notice

~PEACE