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let me be myself
let me speak my thoughts openly
and let me openly and totally enter your mind
and hopefully ill find-
that grief that’s holding you back
and give you any type of relief before you have a relapse
STOP! STOP! STOP! HOLD THE *** UP!
what was up there is what i usually write
but forget that it’s time to address some things in my life
is it wrong that i promote happiness, but don’t have it myself?
was i only i only made to be in a depressive state since 2012?
the dull expression on my face has become so common some people can’t tell if i’m happy or not
let me tell you right now that i am not
if you see me smiling during the day.
don’t get it twisted
as soon as i’m by myself that expression fades
DON’T YOU DARE ***ING JUDGE ME!
if you do then it could get ugly
because after all this time being sad and lonely
and having basically no one to hold me
it has turned my heart a little colder by the day
it’s officially safe to say-
that all this bullsh*t has thrown me into a pit of despair
it’s become comfortable, like a second home
i want everything to go back to being precious like gold
and finally have happiness to cherish and call my own
i want to be able to once again be thankful that the light in my window is golden
but happiness is still missing from my life until further notice
~PEACE
