Selfish until forever

I hated having to do you like I did, but I was taught that a man lives by the words that he gives. plus you did my foul! shh! I probably made too much of it, but you were my brother and I never thought you would dis that, for a part-time lover. go figure! my ninja things change! I wanna pick up the phone, but the memory still stains, and your number has changed. at least thats what I keep telling myself. as broke as we was, I'm real deep in this new found selfwealth, stengy with apologies. I remember the last text you sent. saying, "you probably won't answer, but I miss you! forgive me please!" And I didn't. I'll probably hate myself forever but my pride is all I'll need. Still your big brother until forever.....