conflicting mind

1 second i wanna say f*ck it all

then u walk in the room and make me fall

right to my knees

pleading with you baby please

give me one more chance

don't ever cease

dont ever stop loving me

dont ever leave

i was trippin over the memories

i was thinkin about the lack of peace

that dominates my mind

that has infiltrated my heart

every one that has f*cked with me

everyone that has taken a part

in what i feel like is my ultimate destruction

everytime i start

making progress towards this quote unquote normalcy

some dude comes in a takes a piece

of a part of me that i fought so hard to piece and glue back together

and now i have no clue how to weather

this storm that is only in my head

the thunder only gets louder

every time you climb into my bed

and the rain only gets heavier

each time you grab my head

i can't decipher if its love or control

i can't decipher whether you love my soul

or whether you love when you control

every inch of my body

when you make me lose control

because of the control you know you have over my mind and body

i don't embody all of your fantasies

i'm not a body for you to use to play out all of your fantasies

i am a soul

that just lives inside this body

you like to hold

every night….every night...every night

you wanna touch my body but i just want you to grasp my soul

i want you to hold of the deepest parts of me

i want you to take control

i want you to roll

with the punches i throw at you

because you understand the hole

i have in my heart

and you so deeply love my soul

that you want to mend my heart and make it whole...

everyday i wanna say f*ck it

because it’d be easier that way

i don’t feel like i deserve your love

and i can’t convince you to stay

but thats just what i say

what i feel, so deep and so real

is that i could never let you go

but sometimes those feelings

are impossible for me to show

and so the story goes...