dear karma

dear karma

is that you

are you still paying me back for the boys i've played cruel games on in high school

i feel my debt had been paid

my heart is beyond slain

i can't continue to endure this pain

i know i was wrong for constantly looking for an upgrade

or just trying to get laid

to ease the emotional hurt

your inflicting scars that won't ever fade

from the ones i frequently think about and the ones i can't seem to name

i didn't think of the consequences then

but damn

can a sista get a break

i have been hurt countless times

thats not even a fraction of the pain cause by me

if i remember correctly some were willing participants in the game of lust

no feelings

just fu(k!ng

finding comfort in one another

in the most vulnerable way

no reimbursement

a pyramid scheme i can't break away from

a 10 year sentence

isnt that long enough

i wonder how many closets are my skeletons hiding in

constantly resurfacing as they reach for a piece of clothing to wear

how many minds do i cross late at night

thinking

damn whatever happened to her

probably none

i guess i'm taking these tragedies to my grave

p.s

karma can we be friends

starting over again