cleaning out my closet

reasurrance

you come to me asking for help 

i give you the textbook answer

you look to my hueless co-worker for the same i just give you 

her answer holds more weight than mine 

even though we have the same answer

i laugh
i have no benefit of giving you the wrong answer 

she even is listening in on our conversations in the event that i give misinformation 

if just by happen chance my training didn't reach protocol 

y'all give me my props on how much i've retained 

only to give me the back hand of 

reassurance 

its the beauty of being a black woman in a white world 

you asked?

you can't understand the long colored braids 

the big hoop earrings 

the mascaca covered eyelashes 

 poppin a$$ lipgloss 

eyeshadow to match 

you had the nerve to ask me 

who asked me are those extentions cause "who on earth would color their real hair like that"? 

you said thank God it was extentions

i thank GOD for another reason

he gave me this flair and made me black

i don't care that you don't understand the aestheic

just give respect 

as i flip my hair 

while rollin my neck 

using my hands when talkin 

its not for you to understand 

when i see someone who is similar to me 

i nod my head 

giving them the unspoken notion that i see them no matter how they see us 

they dont want us here&nbs...

where do ...???

where do broken hoes go? 

whitney asked where do broken hearts go? 

i just wonder where do broken hoes go?

the answer can't be the trash bin. 

i see my heart in all its fu(ked up anatomy. 

i see my anatomical heart,

all the values 

pumping 

slowly 

love instead of blood flowing 

where do broken hoes go?

it has to be somewhere other  than broken people 

fool

they say God watches over babies and fools 

baby 

ive been a fool for so long 

bound-aries

if you don't set boundaries

people are bound to take the line they constantly cross 

wrap it around your neck and hang you

mess

this is the only mess i've made & can't seem to clean up

there aren't enough apologies in the world 

Or tissue to contain the constant flow of tears 

silent cry #2

i cried today 

no tears came 

my chest heaved in my head 

i could feel all the emotions 

i was overwhelmed 

what have i done to get to this point 

what do i need to learn to move on 

i'm looking for answers 

i want something out of all of this 

no title (whatever)

i can deal when you are like this 

i prefer you didnt drink 

and

since you insist

im ok with you being like this 

quiet and glued to the tube 

smiling frequently 

i wonder what you are thinking 

you so disturbingly peaceful 

picking up your cup at  2 minute intervals 

sometimes they're further apart 

once you comfortable with your intoxication 

(will be continued at a later time & maybe come up with a name)

good

i see the good in everyone 

even if no one feels any is left

by doing this i get put in the position of being used

does that make me bad or should the person being decietful feel strange

do anyone feel anything these days 

i cant tell 

im always the one who is doing to much and crazy 

why is this the case

silent cry

Have you ever had a silent cry 

those are the worst kind 

where you heave and never make a sound 

emotions ejaculating all over the place 

damn you jack 

i thought we were cooler than that 

you were prepared better 

at least you're not throwing up all over the place 

your head was in the skyy that day 

the worst thing happen when you're that way

you need your feet on the ground 

planted