Just fine

You saw me. You saw every flaw and still needed to feel...you needed to feel how much a damaged person would go to keep a wounded heart. You needed to feel how far a damaged person would go to keep a weapon...a weapon not for protection. You were my weapon. You shot, stabbed and beat me until it was so familiar that I began to think it actually felt good...that it was love. There was no love. There was no protection in the words you used to convince me that you had my back. I blame myself sometimes because I still can't hate you...I allowed this. I allowed you to come into this room full of pain knowing you could never fill it with happiness. I allowed you to kiss and hold me...persuading my heart that if you still think I'm sexy enough to bed me then I'm going to be ok...we're going to be ok. It's not your fault that I tried to change you and change for a person who was just so fine that I would move mountains for. That's all you were...just fine. And I'm just fine. Fine with the many scars I've scraped off of my heart and burned with my many mason jars of tears...I'm fine. To be called obsessed because I dared to love instead of just *** is still beyond me...but you couldn't be loved. Not by me. Not even by yourself...but I'm fine. And you're still fine. That won't change. But your face and that body doesn't do justice for your cold heart and soul. Beautifully scarred you made me once...but as for you...you're JUST fine.