writing out my pain

I figure I can maintain the pain
By denying I wasn't in pain
 the fact still remain
This pain doesn't go away
I tried to pretend life is still.the same
So I numb myself from reality
What I told myself
What you feel dont matter
This is ***ing reality
I'm socially anti
Those revolving doors
I never pass through
I walk alone
This what I felt that I  had to do
I bypass  opportunities
I regret
I'm still stuck on things I was suppose do
I never left yet
I'm still stuck on hurt
This burden never my chest
I'm supposed to be chasing dream
But ain't run yet
Instead im giving cpr to situations that already dead
I spent all my energy on
Time that  already pass
I so MADD I spent on time I can't get  back