I JUST SAID FUCC IT!

Every since we first got together, youve been here and ive been other there. Not even in the mental sense but literally, we havent spent alot of time together as we've been apart.  Normally, i wouldnt do this kind of distant relationship, but with you and the love we have shared i find it damn near impossible to break free from the spiritual grasp you have on my heart and soul.  Just as soon as we come together from whatever outside influence takes us away from each other, we enjoy the company, make up for any lost time, make love relentlessly, and hope that we never part.  Then here it comes again...  Something new added to the perpetual cycle of our intermittent crossroads.  We both have careers that are blossoming and taking us to new paths in this journey of life.  And we try not to fein naive to all the potential cliches that accompany our line of work, even though the temptations that encompass us are a constant reminder of self-control and self-worth.  We tried to communicate, we even thought of creative and quirky ways to ensure our love will outlast any temporary deportation.  As time goes on, sometimes you grow weary of any surpressed fears you may have for the future in all of its uncertainty, you begin to doubt the very love that brought you together in the first place, losing sight of all the vows youve made to each other, you even begin to sabbotage your own views of why you are in the relationship at all... Days turn into Months that evolve into empty conversations or even worse... SILENCE. To free US from such a bleek outcome of hatred, regret and sorrow, I JUST SAID FUCC IT! Let me be the Martyr of this situation.  Instead of bridging the gap of communication and misunderstanding, let me take it upon myself and end the maddening sound of silence for both of us.  Let us not deal with any heartbreak, we can still be friends; although my green eyed monster inside would never allow my psyche to cohabitate with any female besides myself in any regard towards you.  This was not a waste of time, but an awakening experience for me.  I hope the next person i meet, we have a clear understanding of our expectations up front and not allow ourselves to succumb to the aspirations of what we foolishly think true love is, without first learning the value of a persons soul and how that needs to be nurtured before the physical aspect.  Im not a ! I will always love you, i just realize what i will and wont settle for.  Take care.