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W: Never could I have imagined, beyond my wildest dreams, a beauty as such.
To my eyes and my heart.
Too much it seems.
As I’m left clueless in my means to express.
My love for my love…love baffles me.
D: “I don’t deserve you…” he says
~as she ponders on, her pen failing to jot down what she means to say~
W: Rightfully so…
For you are a woman deserving of a throne and a crown.
It should be!
I, a mere man can but only wish to give you this…
As my dreams foresee our future
Equally my dreams ‘dream’…
D: “But he’s wrong, he does deserve me…
Cause I mean, everyone deserves to be loved and cared for
As much as I love and care for him…”
~a lump in her throat forces her to halt in silence~
W: We are in the present? Yes…
The past matters not…
But…your experiences hinder me in professing my love!
I can’t be…like the rest.
I can’t be…a ‘bad boy’.
I can’t shower you with gifts as you wish.
I can’t fall onto the same path as “they” did.
From your view…it might be hard to see this.
That’s where our paths began to split.
This just isn’t it
And if it is…I don’t want any of it!
D: ‘’I feel everyone deserves it, maybe more than how I feel…
so actually, I’m the one that doesn’t deserve him…
because I know I deserve better!”
~the tears slip ever so slowly caressing her cheeks in the sorrows of disbelief of what she knows can’t be~
W: Emptiness.
A blank expression after we kiss.
The way our hands use to be clasped together.
And now, hers, firmly on her phone.
She’s in my zone and yet…a million miles away from my heart.
The signs are clear but I won’t believe it.
I tend to overthink things…
Maybe I’m just being insecure…
Yeah…I’m sure that’s it.
D: “…however, better doesn’t “deserve me, cause I’m so focused on him!”
W: Let me be spontaneous
Surprise you with a text, a call…or even a visit.
Though, as of lately, the right time is never the right time.
You’re busy, I mean, you do have a life outside my life.
D: “…he hurts me, But! No-one, I mean nobody! Has ever made me that happy in my entire life…
Love is pain”
W: Help me help myself to be better for you.
Though I won’t change, we can make compromises…
If only you could see.
As the walls see.
Hear my unanswered cries falling on deaf ears.
D: “It can only be love”,
Locked away behind the cover
Powerful, painful prejudice printed in my tears.
Unseen as love is blind…
~To another day, she ends this chapter~
