Hostage

Hostage 

 

Imprisoned by my mind

Thoughts getting pass the stop sign

The past just won't go away

Resurfacing no matter the place nor time of day

 

I thought I knew the steps to take

In order to not relive a past mistake

Here again at a familiar spot

 Wondering if I should crawl back into my box 

 

I'm imprisoned by unwanted thoughts

Being held hostage and my emotions slaughtered

I made a bad choice, lesson learned

But must the consequences have a life of its own

 

Growing learning is a process

And occasionally I might create a mess

But the problem now is how 

to let go and forgive

So that in the past I don't have to re-live

 

It will take two in order to get to my truth

Another who'll listen and not judge what I'm going through

One who can give meaning to the past

Or help me see I'm the one who's making it last

 

Let me to back up for a minute

Now it's only your truth and I'm nowhere in it

My role was to allow myself to be used

Like a neophyte I didn't consider consequences nor the rules

 

Now held hostage and feeling like a fool

You can say you're "sick" and believe it to be a good excuse

Leaving me stuck with feelings of shame

A well taught lesson the need to foster friendship has changed

 

I trusted too soon didn't consider what problems

would/could arise

Feeling shame all because the I in me should have been denied

I'm being held hostage by me

There won't be a next time and soon I'll be free

 

Free knowing that your perception does not have to be my reality

Therefore no longer will I be held hostage 

I now have the tools to arrest my thoughts

But most importantly you've shown me what you're about

 

alw