loves me not

Wheels spinning in my head..
Volcanoes of emotion erupt with every thought..
Keeping up with the mental debate... But which voice is my own.
The battle is won at the same time the battle is lost.

0-60 , without question without effort 
And the mindstate drops from red hot to ice cold 
Suffer n collect 200, as soon as you pass the lesson
But we all stop when it glitters... And We all wonder if it's gold

Funny.... How commitment is just another form
Of gambling in disguise, the deepest risk at its core...
The wager to play, requires giving up the heart 
Our most delicate organ, life's most important part.

Stuck in the tides of the soul.....
Swallowing it's content, submissive to the waves
Trust in all caps, love in all bold
Paint a mental picture of a vision without pain 
Make love with the possibilities, ignore the tender fragility
Millions of people roll the dice , call it dating
Immense vulnerability, romance n chivalry
Sacrificing what we worked our whole lifetime creating

What does one do when the gamble is lost..
When the hole is in the stomach, and the eyes start to fog..
As the heart starts to race...
And the illusion starts to fade..
And the mind cannot erase how its broken heart was made
Where do the rules stand... Who can I sue for deception?
Where do I go for justice?? Whom do I seek for correction?

Time slows, and the soul sinks beneath the body
Memories attack, and chop the heart like karate
So much despair, empty of life..
Can't move, can't run, can't fuss, can't fight.
Hours turn to weeks as rain turns to sun..
Friends turn to family... And work turns to fun

Aged with the damage... The scars still remain
A wink becomes a smile and that smile becomes a name.
Lest it be gold... It glitters and it shines
The heart in my hand, could it be for real this time
Rotating the chance, as I approach in the line
The wage, is in my hand, but the caution is in my mind
"Hand it over" says commitment, before rolling the dye
Make a trade for a trade, how to know if not try.