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At an early age I was sexually abused.
During that time I was young and confused.
I thought it was okay
to allow a grown man to touch my body that way.
He told me sweet things that made me feel good,
sexually abusing me every chance he could.
Holding back my tears,
the sound of my room door became one of my fears.
Acting up in school
was my way of dealing with all the pain and hurt
I felt deep down inside.
My true feelings I could no longer hide.
He selfishly took advantage of my precious innocence.
I grew up and started filling out.
Big breast, round ass, thick thighs
with beautiful brown eyes
I tried living right,
Keeping the faith and praying
Hearing the pastor speak but wasn’t feeling what he was saying
I started getting attention from married men
Falling deeper and deeper in sin
My only outlet was through sex
In search of another married man to screw next
I was slowly losing myself to the world
no longer that innocent little girl.
The streets became my idol.
Drugs and drinking became my role model.
Experimented with cocaine
to escape from all the pain.
By the age of eighteen,
I had experienced verbal, physical and sexual abuse
Sitting on the bathroom floor
Razor to my wrist
Contiplating life or death
Thinking why should I live?
What’s the use?
Encouraging words start to fill my head.
Listening to every word that’s being said.
But the devil and my demons
Had that monkey on my back
I said *** it, I’m already on the wrong track
Wasn’t ready to go down God’s pathway
Didn’t want to hear what my pastor had to say
Back to the dope man I went
Bought another dime sack
And a twenty dollar cocaine pack
Starring at the young woman in the mirror
Line after line, the picture of my life
Became a little bit more clearer
My heart began to beast fast
Fear was in my eyes
I started to realize
As I visualize
Everything from my past
All the hurt, all the pain
I thought I was going insane
I fell to my knees
Asking God please
Help me get rid of this feeling
I dropped to the floor
Staring at the ceiling
Room began to spin
I just knew this was the end
My eyes closed slowly
I felt the presence of God all over me
Tears began to fall
Jesus was always a prayer away
All I had to do was call
Although my past was screwed
And I felt so used
I had planned to end my life
God had another plan
Fast forward to the present
I’m married to the man of my dreams
He is truly heaven sent
I have two beautiful girls
Who I cherish more thatn anything in this world
I’ve learned that it doesn’t matter how your life begin
Just know that God is the author and finisher of how your story end
