Im stuck in this moment with time as my opponent
but i have no defenses so i hang over fences
looking out across the fields the grass is not even greener... so i lay in the weeds
wishing it would rain
i always cry in the rain
just my way of releasing my soul's pain, struggles and what-not
stuck between a hard place and a rock
better known as a hard place and my life
if i could be anything, i would be a knife
so i can cut away these boundries that bind me,
diurnal knife then i can hack away at this strife and sleep at night
i no longer dream in black and white. most times, just black
sometimes white
those nights i wake up screaming cause i almost walked into the light
not once, but twice
there's not much inspiration in these words. maybe one day i will find them
but right now they're hiding,
running from me like im diseased
im not, but i might as well be
because im always sick, sick of this
One second away from saying *** it
but the day i do is the day i'll be two seconds away from triumph
so in the meantime between time i'll lay here in the weeds. allowing running waters to lay dormant in me.
the only hope is the coming of a new day. but my hope always stays the same
because the next day is always the same
insipration comes from within and if you cant find it then,
just wait...
patience is a virtue, better yet a necessity
without it life would be dead to me
*** that mother of mine, cause she left me
*** that father if mine, cause he never claimed me
i have a hard exterior, but don't blame me
if i choose to keep my mouth closed thats my business
but my eyes are always open wide. looking for that particular moment in time
and in that moment i'll say *** inspiration, its not all its cracked up to be
*** hope cause it was never there for me
i have the heart of a phoenix i'll recreate my goddamn self
and i'll fly over the same dead field i used to lay in and see YOU
yearning and needing inspiration
waiting for change waiting for rain
the same rain i used to try to drown myself in
and you will see me, looking down on you just like you look at me now
you will be beg and plead for me crying "take me with you, please!"
but i will keep going and keep soaring because the day i needed you
you shunned me
and all i'll have to say is.... "you need inspiration, so just wait..."
and i know i should've been raised better not to hold grudges
but i raised my mutha***in self and myself holds grudges
and i keep my sorrows deep inside till my cup runnith over
because i know soon this will be over
and i never search for four leaf clovers
and i never sit in awe staring at rainbows
i dont waist time wishing and hoping for pots of gold
my soul is old even though my body is young
so i know through time, patience and perseverance true happiness will come
and ive decided no longer to run
i take on this hell on earth face to face
even when it threatens to do me in
i tell the world ***ing bring it then!
ill send it packin in a body bag
my back never slouches or sags
even when im weak im still a beast
im still a winner, even when i cheat
im always making moves, even when im sleep
even when my eyes are closed, i can still see
even when the Devil is choking me
i can still breath
even when im not myself, im still me!
so i can give a damn about those who doubt me
i just build a brick house around me
and tell the big bad wolf stop huffin and puffin cause im the only one with the key
and i dont feel like coming out to play today
so ill do you like my mother did me and send you away
and i dont know what else to do or say other than i feel sorry for those who sit and wait
if you want the good life, you gotta get up, get out and grab it
even if you have to hide out in bushes and trap it
even if you have to stick up your demons and snacth it
even if you think you cant hack
it just swallow your pride and excuses and go after it
*** being afraid im a BEAST...
and i dont WAIT!
