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It’s too late for you to apologize
10 long years of ignorant bliss led me down
This road of unhappiness.
I stood at your side so convinced that our love was reciprocated.
Yet, your loyalty had long dissipated
Come to think of it..
How can you still look me in the eyes with a voice of sincerity while you speak everything but the truth?
You didn’t shake or stutter when I questioned you..
I could resist your touch just don’t lean into me when you breathe
Your breath reminds me...
Of the times we spent sprawled out
In our king size bed
After hours of steamy sex
Dripping in sweat.
Wait..
Take it all back.
Where’s the remedy to cure me from these memories.
I’m exhausted from overthinking-
Trying to decide what’s right for my life
It’s clear I deserve better!
Moments of silence filled the space where rage once dwelled...
Like a statue I stood without motion
I could feel your cold hands on my shoulders when you whispered the same empty promises I had once filled my cup with
More than a thousand times
Staring at you only makes it worse
I love you but I hate you
are the perfect words
I forgot what it’s like to be alone..
Who’s going to love me after this
According to you I’m tarnished
You’ve used me up and I’m wasted
I don’t need this
I don’t want this anymore
I spoke without hesitation
Free me from these invisible chains
I’m finished wasting these tears-
Totally fed up after 10 long years
As I turned away I could see the lightning expression you always used when rejected
You were poisoned by narcissism and I was the rat in your one man lab
Too petrified to move so I never ran.
For every moment I felt suffocated within your grasp
From a hug that transformed into an unspeakable act of war
Endless evenings where we cursed and slammed the doors
Every hour you spent unfaithful
Left me in unrest
Nothing left to feel
But resentment
It’s been two years now..
It’s a shame I never left him.
Written By: Desir'ee
