Father

CATEGORY

life

 My eyes are shut and the image of a little girl appears.
Sitting on the floor of her father’s music studio,
And she’s not playing with dolls or into tea parties.
She’s fixing a broken audio mixer with her bare hands.
Only six and carrying such a great amount of weight on her shoulders.
She looks around the desolated space that surrounds her
But daddy isn't there.
A year ago she stood with her ear pressed up again her parents’ bedroom door
And they yelled and bickered with one another
Foul language being thrown against the walls violently.
And she held herself that night, drowning in her own tears.
Believing daddy didn't love enough to stay,
And her heart was too broken to pray.
She felt like daddy couldn't care hard enough to make things right.
Month after month she watched her mother struggle to make her happy
While daddy was somewhere but nowhere playing house with another woman and child.
Now she’s 18, filled with broken hearts
Wondering how could the first man she’d ever learned to love be the first to tear her apart.
And because of that she has built this brick wall and barb wire fence surrounding her heart, afraid to ever love again.
Wondering why daddy wasn't there to protect her,
Why daddy couldn't hold her and tell her that men will be men
And why he didn't choose to set an example of what a real man could be.
Daddy, why?
This knife you shoved through my soul made me want to die,
And you just couldn't love mommy the right way, you just had to lie.
Now here I am suffering from this agonizing pain.
Hoping to find someone else to blame,
Other than the man that has driven me completely insane
But lucky for you I refuse to hold a grudge.
Even though you wiped your dirty hands across my heart leaving behind your smudge
Daddy I want to thank you, for making me into the woman I am today.
I've wiped away these tears because in case you haven’t realized it
My everlasting bright future is underway
And these secret I've held back refused to stay.
I have a story to tell Daddy and I’m going to portray it just that way.