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I never realized how easy my life was back then
right after the custody battle and all the drama with my mama leading to my grown woman self
I was living life free, even through the tears of hard times and the hurt.
I miss the bus, and another does not come for an hour.
Smiling outwardly to protect my small daughter's, but inwardly I'm like DAMN!!!! miss that freakin bus!!!!
We wait, they play, I watch and to myself I say
I need a damn car.
Eventually, we make it home. Today rested finally over and I say tomorrow I'm not going to miss that bus again.
Ever so often though that still failed to be true.
Daily we would go to church service, bible study, and meetings galore. At first, I was unaware of the hateful nature of others they deep down didn't care.
Ever so often their true self would Sur-Face and you could see their Two-Face.
Thank God for Jesus, through it all His hand I did hold and smack the devil for ALL the lies he told.
Work, Church, Home was the life for me. Looking back no matter the attack I can see it was free.
Today a bit more tough in the rough and I feel like nothing I do is enough
to ward off tear-filled days.
Hell, I've even been told to stop crying as if my human side I must hide
No hope for release, I must place myself alone just to express myself
Hidden for no one will accept the me that I am.
My walls are shielded, quietly I express what I can not outwardly address.
Maybe it's not my job to, so I will give it to God and let Him do the rest so that I may rest.
Back then yea, life was easy and easier still.
Today's issues were still trapped in tomorrow's will, and my today was my yesterday and my only issue was.......
Missing that bus and saying.......DAMN I NEED A CAR!!!!!
