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5
Playing the dozens at school
I somehow kept my cool
As the crowd gathered, I’d never let them see me nervous
Squatted down to lace up my Converse’s
Sized up my completion from toe to noggin
He’s wearing a pair of buddies, so this battle won’t be a problem
Husky Jeans and a winkled shirt, but I’ll hit him where it hurts
Hygiene, it seems, would probably best work...
Me: ‘You lips are so ashy, talking looks like it should hurt!’
Him: ‘Yo’ daddy’s so short, when he goes to court, they put him in a high chair!’
Me: ‘Yo’ momma’s so bald, she got Homer Simpson hair!’
Him: ‘Yo momma’s so poor, pigeons throw bread at her, why?!
Me: ‘’Yo momma’s so ugly, she made a blind man cry!’
Him: ‘Yo’ momma’s so dumb... (that’s it, no punchline)
Me: ‘Yo momma’s so old, her social security number is one!’
Him: ‘Yo Daddy’s on drugs, so when somebody says ‘Hi,’ why does he get offended?’
Me: ‘Yo momma’s so stupid, it takes her two hours to watch 60 minutes!’
Him: ‘Yo mama's so stupid, she took a ruler to bed to see how long she slept!’
Me: ‘Yo momma’s so fat, she ain’t got no neck!’
Him: ‘Yo mama's so stupid, she stared at a cup of orange juice for 12 hours because it said ‘concentrate’!’
Me: ‘Yo mama's so stupid, when they said, "Order in the court," she asked for some fries and a shake!’
Him: ‘Yo mama's so stupid, she put lipstick on her forehead to make up her mind!’
Me: ‘Yo mamma’s so illiterate, the sign says ‘Do Not Trespass,’ but she’s got a coupon for three free donuts waiting in line!’
