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Deva Ossig, the landlady (and property owner) turned rogue



Views: 42

Just a couple weeks shy
and seven years ago to the day,
I still remember contractual obligations
our previous residential abode
724 West Railroad Avenue,

Bryn Mawr 19010 zip code

volatile relationship – poisonous

nasty hubris jump/kick started

with aforementioned videre licet, alte Frau

(quite similar to Hamburg


geschkult harsh taskmaster),
whose figurative and verbal drubbings

linkedin with angry bird disposition

twittering toward us
analogous as toxic soundcloud
ofttimes found her ready to explode
lingering hostility snapped,
popped, and crackled dark,
whereby sauerkraut puss

analogous to red hot poker face glowed

until that fateful late June

two thousand and seventeenth day.


Little did we known then,
where contractual obligations

to acquire municipal approval

to legally house borders for pay

she got away without being penalized
nevertheless danger lurked

as well as mice and roaches skittered
like a bag of spilled skittles,

no idea where the little critters went

invariably they scattered


like pigs from a gun after war of words,

and near physical altercation
fisticuffs flew and mutual

(of Omaha) blood red rage
both parties did vent
the closest to homelessness

found Harris family

resigned to live in a tent

when lease would not be renewed

that she who charge sky high rent.

The heavy price to pay living social
along Hoity toity MainLine

Back a small number of years

thee diva of this domicile
exhibited an aura, charisma,

enigma…devoid of any guile
boot of late turned

a cold shoulder to me and I’ll

avoid denigrating, haranguing,

and lambasting said dell lisle


la, whose avoidance
behavior toward me –

who goes a mile

out of her way to ensure

our paths do not cross – noah din nile

per the above –

well, perhaps a slight bit of hyperbole

viz this, mine swift tailored, harried style

per potpourri of

puzzling perturbation evinced

by said olde world germane

German dame we lease this duplex
treating us, as if we committed

some egregious crime

subsequently forced to stand trial
viz aversion toward this convivial,

frivolous and introspective chap

methinks said realtor/renter

joined a coven den
where doe eyed zen of thieves

occupy teaching rubric

of mean-ness while
taking appropriate after paging thru
selective yellow pages

from play book of Sarah Palin
which tension unlikely to cease

for the next nine months till the deed

doth expire, where by this witch a taw

hook cans(ours) will be freed

of renting a long and fostered,


roach and fox infested, century21

from once salient sympathetic ear

this now manifested Scrooge like greed

reminding us (essentially

via cessation of any interaction),
how she once did heed

to our various and sundry travails –

though neither myself nor spouse,
the latter whose vociferousness

regularly exudes loathsomeness

toward key per, once a vouch saving

storied angel without fail and indeed
wife tis not shy to vent

where a plethora of expletives lead
rant and rave toward an impending crisis

that will me send out an SOS
ever felt compelled

to join Hemlock society

or drown sorrows in mead

yet disappointment arises,


when formerly positive

dynamic now im peed

did by reasons unbeknownst to me,
who feels grateful ye chanced to read

my babbling of poetically

irrational from a regular Trader Joe,
who doth not sport Harris Tweed
nor (despite any immediate intimations)
doth newt smoke booze nor drink weed.

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