Lying to myself was or still is easy for my mind to cope with
I been lying to myself without anyone's help
I been lying to myself even when God said otherwise
I been negative to my creativity, hopes and dreams doubting myself instead of being my own cheerleader
Lying to myself about wanting an relationship, a new travel content life
Lying to myself felt like it was in my DNA in every possible way
tiffanyr
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OTHER POEMS WRITTEN BY tiffanyr
"Lying to myself"Lying to myself was or still is easy for my mind to cope with I been lying to myself without anyone's help I been lying to myself even when God said otherwise I been negative to my creativity, hopes and dreams doubting myself instead of being my own cheerleader Lying to myself about wanting an relationship, a new travel content life Lying to myself felt like it was in my DNA in every possible way  |
" Safe Space"Negative emotions I created in my own narrative in my own fantasy recollecting as a child that I feel that I still am I always looked at sight, not faith, always got comfortable being miserable, defeated, and depleted, as an adult within my childish lost little girl that is overlooked by humans ,but not by God I never had an "safe space" to crawl in and rest and nurtured so I felt like I was in an cave an dark hole that I was without light without an fight I disobeyed God understanding for me he was telling me under his angels wings is the safe space I needed all along let me clean out my ears that void that felt hollow and hear God voice |
"Puzzle Piece"I tried to fit my negative puzzle piece into the positive spiritual square footage in heaven The puzzle piece of the commandments didn't allow me to place that negativity, depression, or jealousy piece into that tight space because it was out of place My emotions are all of sync I tried to run that spiritual race to the finish line, but my own defeat was me. My mind was the prison of hopelessness, so I didn't make that win, but one day, I will again |
"Negative WithdrawalsAll I knew was to drink from the bottom of the bottle of negativity that was the friend of Satan in a spider web I drank that emotion that was supposed to be conquered ,but it was a side effect of fear that poisoned me and my liver Oh no, I just drank an bottle just a min ago that addiction is strong and stings my throat, but I knew what I got myself into once the sentences came out of my mouth from my brain wires Now I am shaking intensely back against the wall Having "Negative Withdrawals" |
"My Own Prison "My own prison doesn't have an address or walls it has dark clouds that follows me on my unknown path My own prison doesn't have guards. I allowed my own self sabotaging thoughts to be the rules behind the bars of my story My cell is not stainless steel it's overthinking and hollow, it's tossing and turning within the paralyzing fear of the unknown God and Jesus are my outside connections that holds the key to my new identity Banging on the walls, do anyone hear me? Like lethal injection, my veins are filled with depression, jealousy, abandonment, the multiple personalities that fights each other like drugs in the brain cells I am doing life in prison everyday it shows on my calendar with X's I have my own light at the end of the tunnel of heaven that I need to reach Jesus be my lawyer get your spiritual books out on the table fight my battles, beat my case, so my past can be erased |
"Mood Swings"My emotional characteristics elevates my mood like an pendulum on a swing inside of an office room My mental pressure goes up like high blood pressure on an abnormal day My Mood is like the temperature on an thermometer it spikes one moment then declines the next Like an swing My happiness escalates to the highest of skies Seconds later I'm down in the dumps like being in the coal mines Save me God, redeem me set me free help me fly like the birds you creates Fly me into your spiritual paradise no reservation needed |
"My Little Girl"Still a little girl dressed in pink twirling in the daisy field in my own imagination is what I am in my present All grown up ,but still an lost child looking for adult validation in all the long hollow tunnels getting all delusional searching like an compass for my father figure my life saver my own god in an man who got sin and pride My tears stream like an river behind my fake smile that can't be seen outloud making my own ocean for miles |
"Identity"My identity that I formed from my own consciousness was created from my teenage years of abandonment, self understanding, self body issues In my physical life I am still that 15 year old behind the bars of my own prison My God will break me free from the grip of my own mental health without any prescription medicine needed My identity void was to sleep around, be jealous, compare myself I tossed into the wind and accepted that my true authentic vision is tainted My identity often feels like an empty alcoholic bottle with the little fuzz of uncertainty Today is like an light bulb giving me an instant lightning of wisdom I am not lonely that is just an temporary thought I have no obstacles kids, boyfriend, friends in my way of my push to win the race at my own finish line I am my own identity I rest my case |
"Graduation"Entering high school for the first time mentally is nerve wacking for any individual walking through the doors of an unknown world I felt invisible like fog in the mist of headlights the hallway to the lockers with padlock in my right hand felt like an tunnel with no end in sight As I walk on the bricked lounge walls I would have never thought in my 20s and 30s I would be facing emotions for example: depression, self image, body issues, not fitting in any social crowd, placing boys who used me as temporary means on an pedastal that teenagers get over in their adulthood 4 years of innocent behaviors for my adult mind is like 20years of spiritual warfare but by the end of this month I will be walking across the stage of heaven and getting my halo diploma |
"New Walk/New MeNew baptism in my purity white robe with the halo that is transforming my mentality New vision is beyond 20/20 when I see in your eyes New Prosperity, new golden path to eternity New deliverance in the form of peace New defeat in sight for me against my enemy placing him under my feet New confidence as I stand and talk My new walk is tall and knowledgeable reach high with me I am unstoppable |