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How many times did we argue over 'nothing'
We'd play the blame game at a constant rate
just to keep each other at arms length.
Now that were not together, I've realized just how much you've changed.
But how could negative words be exchanged in the form of rage
even from a far?
I can't lie, I miss those moments we shared.
A love that lasted but three years.
I can't be okay with the way you chose to play your emotions.
There can be no forgiveness given.
I have to remember, we had our 'reasons' to say goodbye.
Our paths cross nearly day to day.
Always some reminder to why we never stayed.
You wonder how I can misbehave so cruelly.
Walk around, so boldly, pretending you don't exist.
Take these words of honesty and add them to your list.
Now I see how history
repeats itself naturally.
You will continue to make the same mistakes
you did with me.
I don't have to care anymore.
But I do.
It's shameful you haven't learned.
Still a damn child
in demand of complete control.
Your jealousy pouring out of your soul.
You've just dug yourself a deeper hole.
Which it's clear to me your intentions.
With nothing better to do
you seek vengeance.
Desperately crying out for help.
I'm the only woman to hear your screams.
Because as much as I'd like to forget,
I still know you better than anyone out there.
I turned you into a lover
a patient friend.
accountable
and family oriented.
Even when your own family betrayed you.
Who was right by your side.
Holding your hand.
I carried you
I could have married you.
The end was so sudden.
It became redundant to fight.
makeup sex wasn't even worth it.
by then.
The last hours we shared I wont forget.
How did it ever come to this?
Once so close,
however, it's my choice.
to leave it
I've cut down that branch
where it could have grown.
So f*** it!
I rather be alone.
-Desiree Chavez
