Sweetest Girl

Sweetest Girl

I used to be the sweetest girl until I was turned sour. I used to be the sweetest girl until that continuous darkest hour. These days I'm feeling like I lost the sweetest me. The me that used to smile, laugh and world was filled with glee. Yes, I know change is inevitable but I thought it'd be for the better. On a daily I find myself questioning God like do this sh*t even matter? Like if it's not one thing it's another and I perservere through it all but I'm so tired of being resilent where is my breaking point?  when do I get to fall? Oh god, I just wanna fall apart. My spirit is holding on because my dreams are more than just dreams. The life I see for myself and my future is still upon my reach. I miss feeling warmth and love, these days we're just existing. My daughter is the greatest gift that came from my resilence. I used to be the sweetest girl i swear that's what they used to tell me. These days i'm just the girl who took on another battle and drowning...

Abandoned Me

Every time I think it’s all good

Something turns it bad

Every time I’m showing love

It feels like it’s something you never had

Never really felt or seen but I know that’s untrue

Cause you had plenty women who was loving on you

Why don’t you accept it

Why do you fight it

Why do you always make me feel like it’s me

When I’m the one that’s been riding

The one that’s been down, the one who soul you got

The one to never judge and the one that will literally die

For you I will

Do pretty much anything

For me,

You’d pretty much just say *** me and then abandon me

But why?

For what?

I thought I was giving you my everything

Guess everything ain’t enough.

For a man like you, 

What does it take?

To show yo...

Grief

I feel like something is wrong with me because I can't connect to people anymore

I feel like something is wrong with me because I feel so empty when I used to feel so full

I lost two of my best friends maybe that's why I'm so closed off now

They both took their lives and it has got me feeling like how..?

Or better yet why?

Cause for the life of me, I can't understand why they left me here to die.

They left me here alone...its not too many of us..

No kind-hearted selfless individuals who you can trust

I'd kill to have them back, I'd kill to change their minds.

I'd kill just for them to know that I would of ne...

Untitled

It's funny how I"m a down a** chick

But when it's time reciprocrate I get the short end of the stick

I'm loyal as hell and you'll never have to question me

But as soon as I want you to do something

All of a sudden I do too much "bickering"

If you're not in control you'll have a panic attack

But the moment I act like you, you want me to fall back

Sometimes I feel like you lack respect for me

But if I'm feeling that way it's because that's what you've shown me

Because when you love someone it's just some sh*t you don't put them through

When a woman has given her all and doesn't ask for much

How do you turn around and dog her than claim that you love her?

You've betrayed my trust more ...

Lost/Broken

When the ones you make time for don't make time for you

What do you do?

Do you wait? Do you cry? Do you give up?

See, I tend to give all of me to the men I pursue

Thinking that my effort is being acknowledged

When in fact it's being abused, taken advantage of

I can't think of a reason, why someone would want to hurt me

Whether it's unintentional or purposely

How can you damage someone who only made you feel like a king

Someone who gave you so much love

Someone who gave you consistency and generosity

See, I cant fathom you being in my position

You wouldn't last a day

because the hurt I've been through was vicious and cruel

You men don't get what we women go through

We do so much and put up with so much just to keep you ha...

9/12/16

Do you actually think you can just leave

Do you really think that I'm gone let you be

After all the hard work and time I put into keeping you

You tryna tell me...that our love and our bond was never true

That those beautiful memories faded from that beautiful mind of yours?

That those mezmorizing moments weren't worth remembering

Tell me how can you go on......

Knowing that you destroyed this house I thought to be a home

I loved you with every piece of my soul but I guess every piece of my soul wasn't enough 

Making you happy and giving you everything you ever wanted wasn't enough

I thought I was your "go to" but I guess when you realized how much you were going to me ...you punked out and abandoned me

Leaving me was the worst thing you could do

Throwing away a beautiful soul because of your fear of being in love with me too

No love

I prayed to god for strength

The little I did have you snatched from me

All the ignoring my calls you never respected me

With you I always thought it was meant to be

Cause everytime I locked that door somehow you found the key

I gave you the best pieces of my soul

But what you did to me was unbelievable

How can you say you love someone but sh*t on them every chance you get

Baby that ain't love that's disrespect

You ruined the best part of me which was my heart

Loving you was never easy from the start

You make me feel unwanted and like I'm not enough

I can't believe I'm saying this but

I AM THROUGH WITH LOVE

Lost It

Every time I let someone in they hurt me

The pain that I am feeling is unexplainable

It's like somebody snatched my heart out my body and swallowed it

It's like I don't ever get a break

All this recycled pain my heart it can't take

I cry everyday but the pain still stays

My mind still strays

My hands still won't pray

I'm tired

I've lost HOPE

Reoccuring

Don't know why I thought you actually liked me

when in fact you just wanted to try me,

deprive me of my happiness, that's all y'all do

Come into my life but be out' out the blue

Wanna hear my story but want to judge me

Want my goodies and not my reality

When will it end?

The games, the mentality, the oh so common men

Emotions are nothing to play with

But yet y'all still controlling the joy stick, when will it click?

That feelings and lies don't mix.

I want somebody that's on my level

Not another young minded guy playing tricks

I WON'T SETTLE