My Internal Struggle (told by a woman scorned)

My Internal Struggle

They told me the best way to get over you...
Is to walk away and make it do what it do.

So me being me, I did what I do best:
Grind hard, Dogg s, and move on to the next. ..

Screaming *** all s & everything they stand for.
Sad thing is, the more I hate you, I tend to love you that much more...

I've tossed and I've turned, until I cried myself to sleep.
Thinking, "Damn I knew I loved him, but not this deep"

struggling to think of you, as the devil in disguise....

but my heart still smiles for you...to my dismay...and utter...surprise

Its been 10 months and 28 days since I got, "The Letter".
Letting me know that you love me, but You dont want better...
You were stuck in a rut, gettin it how you live.
Loyalty to you? No problem.. but to your set?I Jus couldn't give...
So I said what I said, not sugar-coatin .
But when you saw how I felt, you wasnt tryna hear it...

That was the second day my hearr shattered and faded into night;
The first was the day you got shanked, I knew sumn wasnt right
You never know true love until your better half's in distress...
Shid., as long as they're safe and unharmed... *** The rest!

So as I read your note, my heart beat a bittersweet sound...
That's the feeling I felt when it all went down...
Happy for rhe communication, but broken at the news:
It had me feelin so let down, disappointed, and confused...
 

For the longest my biggest problem was, " you being gone..."
In an instant, it changed to, "Will he even make it home??"
So I cried about it& prayed over it, with everything I had.
All I wanted was to see you succeed.. is that so bad??

Probably not, but this I know for sure. ..
Ive moved on and did me; but my love for you is still pure...
Dont get confused my , cuz I aint thru.. its still beef!
Got more to say, but this is the end of "1"... we will resume sumtime next week