Behind The Smile

I hate my life.

Majority of the time I wonder why was I created.

Do God hate me?

Why do I have to go through so much?

Why am I here?

I hate my life.

Childhood.

Teenage years.

Adult life.

I have been miserable all my life

Just pretending that I'm happy

People tell me to have faith and pray

Like I'm misguided by my sins

Little do anybody know

I've been praying all my life

Praying for a daddy

Praying for a drug free mother

Praying for things I needed that my mom couldn't provide

Praying for my sisters

Praying to survive

Praying for forgiveness

Praying I forget

Praying for my children

Praying for jobs

Praying for change

Praying for peace

Praying for strength

Praying for love.

Praying for wisdom.

Lord I pray.

Lord I pray.

Lord I pray and I'm still lost.

Why am I here?

Why can't my life change?

Why can't I be at peace with the world?

Do God hate me?

I can't bear this weight

I can't even stand to look at my own face

How can I be strong?

I don't even want to fight nomore

I'm tired of hurting crying faking smiling

Just so I don't ruin nobody else day

Yet I don't complain

But I hate my life.

I don't care about how beautiful I am

I pray for a beautiful life.

I don't want my living to be in vain.