The Death of the Old Me

 I remember things. Strange things. 

From a world I made up in my head.

I still live there. I visit here.

But I feel as though I'm dead.

Or some sort, of mania,

Something I can't explain.

I need to find some remedy.

A need to erase the pain..

I feel the shame in every day.

I barely can endure,

But I remain here just enough,

To tell myself a tale,

To reach inside these broken eyes,

To see the holy grail. 

I see the world in front of me,

I feel the life within,

But still I seem to fall apart,

When hope is suddenly dim. 

How come I lost the way to be,

How come I fell behind?

Why did my friends all leave from me?

Why also did my mind? 

I hope to have a way again,

I hope to someday be free,

I pray that madness leaves from me,

I pray that all will see. 

Forgive my hate,

Forgive my pride,

Forgive my every sin. 

Forgive my darkness drawn about

The blackness of my skin. 

I am a ghost, I am no more,

I am what I once was,

A monster, menace, mania,

A mistake, just because. 

Please help me find the way to love,

Please help me see what's true,

Please help me spill this demons blood,

Please help me, I need you. 

I'm sorry for this dark despair,

I'm sorry for my ways,

I will fight to regain my soul,

Until my dying day.

I will not quit, I will not cry,

I will not leave you 'lone.

I will seek help, I will return,

I will, because I'm strong. 

I find the strength within the depths, 

When hell and heaven sent,

Disappear from every cell,

Vanish from every sense. 

You cannot call away my fear,

But since you write these words,

I see you fight to free me still,

I see you, still I serve.