bekz580 | Poetry Vibe
bekz580
This poet practices good karma and posts comments 4700
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the mess I made

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life

Views: 395

I'm not sure how I got here...or how things got this way...I thought I was on the right path...thought I was headed toward something promising...instead I'm here...and I don't even know where here is...and what's worse...is I don't even know who I am...the person in the mirror is no longer someone I know...they bear no resemblance to me...there's a light in their background, where there is only blackened darkness in mine...there is an innocent fear in their eyes...but mine hold vengeance...and since their weakness sickens me, thus shattering the mirror, I hold the broken glass like feathers in my hands...I feel the more I try to put my trust in someone...the more I lose of myself...the more cynical I become...it's like I don't need anyone...nor want anyone...and the more I think I do ...the more I try to open myself up to someone...the more I let my heart control what my mind knows better...the more damage I do to myself...I can literally feel my heart turning to stone...people's feelings are no longer becoming any concern of mine...they're in my way and all I wanna do now is get from them what I need before I dismiss them...this isn't me...but it's who I'm becoming...I don't remember what good times look like...I have one, maybe two people in my life that I can think of that have definitely made some positive mark in my life...the others...I'm sure they were a good time at one point or another...I'm tired of wasting my time on people I thought meant something...people I thought were worth it...people I had up on some pedestal as if they deserved to be there...and I can only blame my own stupidity for thinking that's where they belonged...when they really never showed me any reason as why they should be there...my, the mess I've made...I've tapped into the darkside of me...not listening to the voices in my head telling me to turn away but instead to my gut saying they needed another chance, and a third,  and a fourth...I thought I knew something...thought I was smart enough to know better...come to find out my judegement is all incredibly wrong...I shoulda walked away in the moment a friend suggested...now...I'm this cynical person, unable to trust, maybe unable to love, incapable of feeling anything, emotions are even drained, out for me with no concern or regard for anyone...I was not the one who turned me in to this person...it was you...and you...and maybe even you...I only let you break me down, thinking you deserved better than me, that you were somehow more important, that your happiniess was far more than I could only hope for myself...I let you break me...but I, I swept away the pieces rather than putting them back together...my...what a mess I made...

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COMMENTS

 

DallasCowgirl says:

Deep and profound.

Contest Winner  

kingqadardwon' says:

Very real write! Enjoyed the read. Thanks for sharing!

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